I want to be “that girl.”
I want people to whisper “is she sick?” behind my back. I want to take off my baggy sweater to reveal the xxs T-shirt underneath and have the room go quiet. I want cheekbones and big tired eyes. I want to be the regular who’s just a black coffee, please, every morning. I want to forget I have a limit and just forget to eat. I want people to get excited when I eat an apple, just an apple thank God she’s eating something. I want my fridge to be nothing but water and a bag of iceberg lettuce. I want to forget what its like to binge. I want to stop taking any comfort in eating at all. I want to not eat because adding up calories is too much work. I want bruises on my spine from the sit-ups. i want to get under my UGW without noticing. I want to be thin.
thatgermandreamer